Oh, the horror!

For generations, the MacDroughal clan has proudly worn this ghastly get-up. You’ve got to hand it to the Scots – they’ve managed to produce two of the most distinctive patterns in the world – tartan and paisley. But they were never meant to breed (if ever there were a ‘self-evident truth’ this surely must be it). Sadly, however, it is pointless to attempt to explain such obvious sartorial insights to Doff.

In my opinion, this ‘Best of Both Worlds’ is a commendable effort but never should have gotten the green light. Perhaps the weaver was blind. Or from England. It’s personally upsetting for me for, while I’m not bothered by tartan one way or the other, I quite like paisley and can see myself in a light pink paisley shirt (if ever there was a suitable occasion) and it’s a shame to see those elegant florid forms abused in this way.

Doff knows my views and it’s a topic best not discussed. Several times I’ve seen the look of horror on some poor soul’s face when they first catch sight of Doff’s kilt and I’ve become quite adept at distracting Doff whilst simultaneously encouraging the potential victim to keep their mouth shut. Who knows how many lives I’ve saved thus.


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Paisley tartan